Laser Dolphin

Laser Dolphin
Finally, a Dolphin with Some Frickin’ Lasers!

By Matt Forbeck

[Matt Forbeck is the author of Queen of Death, Road to Death, and Marked for Death in the Eberron line of Dungeons & Dragons novels, as well as author of the first Blood Bowl novel and designer on Marvel Heroes: Battle Dice and author/art director on the award-winning Redhurst: Academy of Magic Student Handbook (d20 role-playing game supplement.]

Dr. Evil famously griped about the lack of dolphins with lasers in Austin Powers, and the team at Dingo Games finally answered the call. In Laser Dolphin, you play the eponymous animal: an intelligent, bottlenose dolphin with a massive laser mounted on your back, ready to blast evildoers off the planet.

You do not lack for targets in this 2D scroller. The tissue-thin plot, which unfolds in a few spare comics panels, informs you that aliens have kidnapped the Prime Minister. Only Laser Dolphin (that’s you) can save him!
Ignore the cheeseball excuse for character motivation and jump into the water with your laser blasting away. Forget that punk Ecco, always bumping into things with his nose. You’re armed!

You have three ways to play: action, stunt, and race.

All Action, All the Time

In the action levels—the main part of the game, the “story” if you can call it that—you start out in the oceans of Earth, where you spend 20 levels fighting your way past lasers and mines, plus suicide-bombing turtles, missile-firing fish, and bomb-dropping gulls. Later, you encounter even nastier foes, including electric eels (who try to shock you to death) and invulnerable robotic sharks (who can swim through walls).

THE PLOT: Story? We don’t need no stinkin’ story?

All you have on your side is your laser and your moves, so practice with both. Shooting is easy. The mouse’s pointer shows up as a targeting reticule, and Laser Dolphin turns its nose to follow it wherever it goes. Click to let loose a shot. The faster you click, the more you shoot.

You can also unleash a more powerful shot. Hold down the mouse’s left button to power up, and then let go to fire. Master this soon, as it comes in handy against the more powerful enemies later.

The first few levels of the game encourage you to move with your mouse. You hold down the space bar to go forward in the direction of the reticule. As you get accustomed to this, though, the game recommends you use the standard WASD keys to move, employing the mouse to direct your orientation.
If you’re no ninja with the controls, don’t fret. You can set the difficulty level in any of five stages, from Very Easy to Extreme. As you progress through the game, too, you automatically unlock related cheats that allow you to indulge in your best power-dolphin fantasies

INCOMING! You’re the hero on the right. Those other technobeasts? Your targets!

In each level, you wander around the open sea and tunnels deep beneath the waves until you find the exit, leading to the next level. Along the way, you try to find the five golden dolphins hidden on each level. Besides being the greatest thing in dolphin collectibles, these also restore the health you’re bound to lose while battling your foes. The game keeps track of how many dolphins you grab in each level, and any time you get all five, it slaps a golden dolphin icon on the action overview map.
As you work your way through the levels, you also find a number of different power-ups you can use to make your attacks more deadly. Each of these only last for a short time, so get ready to release a barrage of attacks as soon as you grab any of them. They include quad damage, machine-gun fire, guided missiles, and—coolest of all—a laser sword (ahem, lightsaber) that stabs out from the end of your laser.

Give me that lightsaber floating over there. It’s the one that says, "Bad-ass Laser Dolphin" on it. Or it should!

Once you complete the first 20 levels, you find an alien spacecraft and rocket off to Conglacio VI for another 10 levels on a vibrant blue planet. From there, it’s off to the crimson Volcan II for another 10 levels of hunting. Then you finish everything up with a final 10 levels on the Alien Homeworld.

Along the way, you never see the actual aliens who have so horribly modified all the creatures of the sea to fight against you—no matter which world you may be on. However, you do get to confront your ultimate foe: Evil Dolphin. You might expect your opposite number to sport a well-trimmed goatee. Instead, you can know it by its glowing red eyes.

Send in the Stunt Dolphin!

If action’s not your thing, you can hone your movement skills in the game’s ten stunt levels. In these, you move Laser Dolphin through a series of jumps, doing your best to get as high into the air as you can. You score extra points for flips and turns, but watch those landings. A good landing gives you a bonus, but awful ones can ruin all your hard work.

Each level has a set score for which you can earn bronze, silver, and gold medals. You start at the first level and cannot move on to the next until you manage at least a bronze in your current level.

Go, Laser Dolphin, Go!

Perhaps you feel the need for speed. If so, then the game’s ten race levels should work for you. There’s no head-to-head action here, or even racing against bots. It’s just you against the clock.

The levels end up like lice racetracks and more like obstacle courses. If you meet each level’s bare minimum time, you earn a bronze medal and can move on. Or you can stick around and try to improve your time until you pick up a silver medal or even a gold.

Do It Yourself

If these 70 different levels have just whetted your appetite, don’t despair. The game comes complete with a level editor you can use to whip up your own challenges. You can save, trade, and load these at will.

The editor is a bit complex, but those with design ambitions should be able to ramp up the learning curve fast. The designers at Dingo Games have already covered all sorts of different levels—including one that involves tumbling down a long, dry cave—but here’s your chance to create something new too and add to the fun.

Reviewer’s Snapshot: 8 (retro, silly fun)

Graphics: 7 (well done for a 2D scroller)
Sound: 7 (the laser sword is fantastic)
Game Play: 9 (good variety of challenges)
Pacing: 8 (getting killed means starting a level all over)
Replayability: 7 (find missing golden dolphins or beat old times or scores)
Customization/Design Toolkit: 6 (effective, although nothing fancy)

Reviewer’s Bias: 5 (low expectations for a surprisingly fun game